In a matter of minutes (or anyway, units of time) the Senate is expected to vote on a bailout package. Much like the bailout package that just got voted down the other day and sent all your stocks back in time to September 11. So what's changed since then? We've been sorta paying attention. Here's a comprehensive roundup!

  • Stocks recovered from their Monday crash, but seriously, no one cared because the SEC's ban on haters is still on, oh look it was just extended until October 17 and anyway all anyone cares about is something called a TED spread, which represents the difference between the yield on Treasury bonds and the yield a bank can make by lending another bank money overnight and is really wide because investors are worried that at some point the Treasury Department will have to stop seizing banks that can't pay it back.
  • Warren Buffett invested three more billions. This time in GE.
  • That is because, hey, guess what, the "real economy" needs to borrow money to survive, hello, that is why finance was invented to begin with did you think they would do it just to piss me off? Anyway suddenly no one — not even GE! Or for that matter AT&T or the government of Florida! — could do that.
  • Thank god Zionist casino magnate Sheldon Adelson is a billionaire casino magnate because he lent a few hundred million dollars to his Vegas casinos so they could pay the interest payments on some of those delightful money pits he borrowed all that money to build so he could own the stock that would make him a billionaire. The rest of Vegas is probably screwed for awhile though.
  • Housing prices and auto sales both fell 16% for the month of September.
  • Former Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld was banished from his old office and Daily Intel made a funny graphic and Europe is very mad about some $8 billion wire transfer he made the night before the bankruptcy.
  • Harvard Business School canceled the Predator's Ball.
  • A bunch of provisions were added to the old bill, including "a measure that would require health insurers to treat mental health issues the same way they treat physical illnesses." See, psychiatric meds are very important in reminding the nation to pay its bills on time, I would know! Seriously though, what fucking liquidity purpose does t