"What Am I Doing On Lunch-Break? Reading Someone Else's Emails."

You commenters are all so smart and so clever (well, for the most part.) But six of you, this week, really hacked into the password-protected recesses of our hearts—making us laugh, think, feel, and shake our heads bitterly. Read the achievements of your comrades (WE ARE COMMUNIST ATHEIST ANTI-CONS) after the jump.

• From lawyergay in Brokeback Mountain Author Annoyed By Internet Dorks Re-Writing Her Story As Slash Porn: "In my Brokeback slash fiction, Jack and Ennis move to Brooklyn, buy a pug that they like to dress in sweaters and take on the subway and to people's houses where it chases the cats and bites people but they don't realize how annoying this is it because it's their child-substitute. Jack gets a design degree at Parson's and starts his own decorating firm and Ennis works in media. Ennis becomes pedantic about wine. Jack takes vacations by himself. The end."
• From OMG! Ponies! in Sarah Palin's Personal Emails: "God dammit. I'm doing a document review gig in Newark, reading through a company's emails and what am I doing on lunch-break? Reading someone else's emails."
• From Ogiri W Surie in Update: Hannah Upp Alive: "Maybe she thought it was a dumpster." —We know that's sort of horrible, but it's also hilarious.
• From miasma-protege in The End of Bottle Service At Last?: "Ladies free with one canned good."
• From hortense in Ashley Olsen Fires Mary-Kate (Maybe): "'I am the super focused one, she's just my sister.'"
• Your Party Pick this week was actually a mass killing, of this piece of shit for this piece of shit comment. PEACE!

Good work friends!