The Many (Rumored) Loves of Anderson Cooper
Dreamy Silver Fox Anderson Cooper may have a new boyfriend. Village Voice gossip Michael Musto is doing some whispering about a strapping young lad named Jonathan Chase who may or may not be canoodling with the esteemed CNN anchor. Cute! We care not because we're pointing fingers at a gay person, but because it's as newsworthy (or, at least, gossipworthy) as who Kate Hudson or Leonardo DiCaprio is dating. We're, um, orientation blind. After the jump, we've provided a small listicle (because why the hell not) detailing some of the Coop's previous romantic dalliances.
The Boy Who Talked To Dolphins First hissed about by LA Rag Mag, J.D. Ordonez was said to be the captain of Cooper's heart this spring. He's young and Latino, two qualities Cooper seems to enjoy in a fella, and he trains dolphins. Few people know that if you train dolphins, you are automatically the Gayest Person Ever, and you should be kept in a glass case and studied for your magical properties. Like Scrooge McDuck's mystical First Dime. It seems the Coop tried to harness this boy's power, though Ordonez denies it completely, telling us: "I am NOT/HAVE NOT been in a relationship with Anderson Cooper."
The Mystery Man Little is known of the shadowy "friend" that Cooper was seen walking with last Fall. At first we thought he was a fellow named Cesar. But were wrong!
Praising And Burying (in) Cesar Cesar is this fellow, who was seen behaving intimately with Andy some two years ago. Last we heard he was a wine distributor, making him, if not the Gayest Person Ever, somewhere close by.
Wait, Did I Already Hand Out the Title For Gayest Person Ever? This summer the Coop apparently dated an assistant to fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg. This is funny because she is the beard for gay man Barry Diller. Anderson supposedly wanted this young gent to move in with him. It looked like true love, though some suspected that the kid was just using poor Coopy-Poopy for his vast riches. A tipster told us: "The young boy toy brags to everyone that listens that he is saving a shitload of money on rent and using AC as a piggy bank for his boy toy expenses. guess the Silver Fox can't tell the difference between someone using him or else he doesn't care. He tells his upset parents it's only a temporarily thing to live with a guy so 'old and boring' and he actually only went out with him the first time on a dare." Just terrible.
The Asian Dog Walker From a tipster, yesterday: "I was sitting at an outdoor table today, at Eros Cafe in Chelsea, when Anderson Cooper pulled up in a silver Saab. He dashed into the diner, with a baseball cap pulled low - but, left a fawn French Bulldog locked in the car. Ten minutes later, a handsome Asian guy walked up, unlocked the car, took out a backpack and walked the dog down the block."
Another Gay Boyfriend Finally we get to Jonathan Chase. He is an actor, one might say. He was in the art house film Another Gay Movie which is American Pie but with gay people and buttsex. All we know of their supposed liaison is what Ms. Musto wrote: "No, wait, this is better. Anderson Cooper. Jonathan Chase. Discuss at length." So who the hell knows. So there you have it. He goes on many dates and we're all sort of quietly jealous but love Anderson for being Anderson, just the way God made him.