• Roger Ebert said he can take being thwacked by that Post movie critic who got annoyed with him at a screening, but his wife (pictured) told the Daily News "I'll get a no-neck guy from the West Side to break his knees." [R&M]
  • There's a tape of John Lennon fantasizing about sex with his Mom?? No idea. But the Sun wins the prize for most salacious gossip item of the day! [Sun]
  • Michael Phelps attempts to eat sushi in Midtown, hysteria ensues. [P6]
  • A pedicab driver supposedly shouted at Ashley Dupre that he'd give her a free ride "because we both work the streets." Either that or the Post is in some kind of fight with the former Eliot Spitzer hooker. [P6]
  • Heather Graham is supposedly into Dylan McDermott. [P6]
  • Fresh off giving birth to twins, Jennifer Lopez was going to run a triathlon and be a judge on Project Runway. Now she has a foot injury and can do neither. You really truly can't have it all. [Us]
  • Lindsay Lohan is wearing a sort of engagement ring. [Sun]