Well, if the McCain campaign lacked a little something called star power—and let's face it, the guy is about as fabulous as Mr. Magoo with hemorrhoids—then that gaping hole was filled by...wait, let's reword that. Um...drill, baby, drill? Ugh, nevermind. There's no way we are going to get around sexualizing America's newest superstar hockey mom and lipstick-smothered graduate of the Michael Vick Canine Attack Academy, Sarah Palin! But don't take our word for it. Just look at these numbers:

Palin pulled in 37.2 million viewers across broadcast and cable networks, according to Nielsen Media Research.

That's 55% higher than Day 3 of the DNC, when her Democratic counterpart Joe Biden and former president Bill Clinton took the stage (24 million). It's also up a sharp 99% from the Republican convention's third day in 2004 (18.7 million). In fact, it came close to upsetting Obama's record-setting speech on Thursday — the most-watched in history (38.4 million viewers).

Indeed, Palin has managed, in one fell speech, to wipe away virtually every current global obsession, from David Duchovny's masturbation schedule to Michael Phelps' TV appearances to Vladimir Putin's Georgia- and tiger-incapacitating prowess to...well, you name it, it's ancient history. Lick down those frizzy bangs! Look lively, people! Sarah's up at bat.