If we're dragging politicians' families through the mud it seems only fair to do some digging into the distant past of the mysterious Barack Obama. His ancestors came, of course, from an exotic foreign land: a mysterious, magical island called "Ireland." According to an Irish genealogy site: "Obama's earliest known relative, his 6th great grandfather, was a member of a family of wealthy wig makers who included an Irish politician, Michael Kearney." This Michael "Hussein" Kearney was apparently exactly like his distant descendant Barack Obama. A contemporary scurrilous pamphlet said of him: "No man alive was equally fired with ambition." Zing...?

Though this Michael Kearney was actually Obama's great great great great uncle, it's apparent that his political instincts were passed on to his distant nephew. A wig-maker, or something, Kearney was a member of the Guild of Barber Surgeons, which basically is the same thing as being in the Illinois State Senate. "In 1720, within three years of joining, he was elected house warden. In 1724, he was openly critical of the master and warden of his guild, and led a petition against them." Then they all elected him guild master, in what is an obvious parallel to the political career so far of Senator Obama. But most interesting is this crazy rhyming pamphlet about how Michael Kearney is evil and aided by The Devil, or something. We really don't get most of it. But Kearney surely issued his own "fight the smears" pamphlet in response while 1700s Irish Lee Atwater accused Irish John McCain of having a Danish baby. Nothing ever changes! Except blogs which cheapened and coarsened our politics. Here's the family tree that proves Barack "O'Bama" Obama's filthy drunken Irishness.