Meet The Celebrity-Losers And Olympian-Winners Of 'Dancing With The Stars'
That thrilling rite of reality TV passage—the running of the Z-list celebs down the streets of Pomona and into the Dancing with the Stars studios for an unforgettable season of Mambos and Cha-Chas, marred infrequently by the occasional rogue-sequin blinding—is again underway, friends. Let's get right down to it. Here is your class of 2008-09:
Susan Lucci, Toni Braxton and Lance Bass will hit the floor on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars." [...] The other contestants are Cloris Leachman, Kim Kardashian, Ted McGinley, Brooke Burke, NFL champ Warren Sapp and two Olympic athletes:
Misty May-Treanor, who won her second gold medal for beach volleyball at this year's summer games in Beijing, and Maurice Greene, who won two gold medals in track at the 2000 games in Sydney. Rounding out the cast are chef Rocco DiSpirito, Cody Linley of "Hannah Montana" and comedian Jeffrey Ross.
So many ways to analyze this. With Susan Lucci and Ted McGinley, we have perhaps the most famously whammied celebs in the history of Hollywood: the former forever associated with with an unmatched losing streak of 783 Daytime Emmy nominations, the latter synonymous, somewhat unfairly, with being a kiss of series death. Surely this can be of little consolation to co-host Samantha Harris, who's positive their accursed presence will lead to her freak goring by fumbled disco ball trophy. 82-year-old Cloris Leachman, meanwhile, will have a chance to vindicate herself after being passed over by the producers of Young Frankenstein the Musical, who worried she wouldn't have the stamina required for the role. Surely if she can hoist a full kegger over her head, she can master the foxtrot. As for Jeffrey Ross, we think the comedian fills the Honorary Adam Carolla Spot, i.e. someone completely out of their league, who signs on for indeterminate reasons, only to get voted off in the first week after calling Carrie Ann a bitch.