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Newsflash! The producers of Karaoke Borg American Idol have done the unthinkable: They have decided to tinker with the magical Idol judging formula America has come to rely on. In addition to the Really Bitchy One, the Inarticulate Gang-Sign-Delivering One, and the Alternately Effusive, Incoherent, and Flat-Out-Unconscious One, we can now look forward to the Non-Jaded Songwriter Who Doesn't Spend Most of the Auditions Fantasizing About Traceless Ways To Snuff Ryan Seacrest Out of Existence One. Let's let the Fox press release explain!

“We are turning the heat up on ‘Idol’ this year and are thrilled to welcome [Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi] to the judges’ table,” said creator and executive producer Simon Fuller.

“She is a smart, sassy lady, and one of America's most successful songwriters. We know she will bring a new level of energy and excitement to the show.” “We had originally intended for AMERICAN IDOL to have four judges,” said executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz. “We’ve seen from our international series that having a fourth judge creates a dynamic that benefits both the contestants and the viewers.”

The move comes after a season of diminished performance for the once unstoppable, Taylor Hicks-anointing talent competition. (Soul Patrol! Soul Patrol! That's still a thing, right?) Whether the addition of a telegenic songwriting talent and Randy-Paula catfight deflector provides a relevancy boost to this increasingly corny-seeming franchise remains to be seen. Obviously, she'll need a catchphrase—but sorry, Younger, Prettier Paula: "You are an individual and a shining starrrr annnnnd...*sound of skull hitting glass table*" is already taken.