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Yahoo programmer Isaac Schlueter is gunning for a spot in our hearts. His cranky resume demands $400,000 a year up front, non-negotiable. Not that he's going to land that high a salary — Schlueter's real goal is to chase off recruiters who won't leave him alone. Those who bother to read his online CV are greeted with a nasty blowoff:

I truly love working at Yahoo!, and believe that my position here offers the best avenue to further my career. I was not laid off. I have no plans to leave. I am not worried about mergers or buyouts. I know that some executive just quit, and clearly, I don't care even a little. Yes, yes, you've recently gotten a million gillion dollars in venture capital, and you were founded by 2 brain surgeon rocket scientist Stanford PhD grads who invented a perpetual motion machine, blah blah blah. I have actually heard it already, that line of yours. Probably very recently. So don't bother. Please don't "reach out to me directly" unless you can actually afford me; it is demeaning and absurd to think that the sound of your voice would somehow change my opinion on this matter.

While googling for more info on Schlueter, who worked on the Digg-like Yahoo Buzz, I found him complaining in a thread at TechCrunch: "What is with the commenters here? Maybe they’d be happier reading Valleywag, since they clearly care more about bashing than about credible info." Oh come on, Isaac, it takes one to know one. You just keep running your mouth like that, and we'll be your best friends. In fact we'll be your only friends.