I was wandering the streets of Carroll Gardens (Brooklyn Heights' free-spirited sister) during a Bastille Day celebration last month, and there were people, tons of people!, wearing straw hats and frothy summer dresses and being languid and too cool for anything other than drinking in the summertime. And there I was, hungover as hell, tromping over from my-fine, I'll admit it-South Slope apartment, looking like a hobo wearing a pickle barrel. So it's heartening to hear, via our tips line, that some of those Smith Street whipsters (wealthy hipsters) are old and upset about... Gossip Girl!

lots of no-parking signs/film permits on the side streets of smith street; fucking up our parking situation. we are old and don't watch the show. please make them leave.

Hahhh, old person alert! Your joints hurt and you don't understand the giddy thrills of shitty television shows starring hard-bodied muppets who make you want to laugh and clap and cry all at the same time! No we won't make them leave! We'll make them stay. You hear me, Josh Schwartz? Film in Carroll Gardens all the fucking time. Um, that is until I can afford to live there. Then stop. Terrific.