This image was lost some time after publication.

We all know the feeling: Burrowing your way through a nightstand stack of forgettable screenplays, you suddenly discover The One. You try to convince your boss the next morning that while we've all seen Rudolph Valentino biopics before, none have captured the meteoric rise and untimely death of cinema's most iconic lover better than this one. Your boss says, "Great. Get me coverage," which you swiftly attend to with the intensity and single mindedness of purpose of a Benedictine monk inscribing indulgences. You present the pages, which your boss loses somewhere between work and a racquetball court appointment. You recover, eventually finding another The One: the greatest Evil Knievel biopic you've ever read! Rudolph falls by the development wayside, never to be heard from again...Until!Almost two decades later, having all but relinquished your Hollywood dreams for a perfectly respectable living managing apartment buildings in the Valley, you overhear a balding industry-type at a Coffee Bean broadcast into his Bluetooth headset, "I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF IT'S FINGERPAINTED IN YOUR OWN SHIT! JUST GET ME THE EDGY RUDOLPH VALENTINO SCRIPT SHOWTIME IS CLAMORING FOR!" The rest you can probably fill in yourself, as all that's really left to do at this point is to sit by your cellphone, waiting for that life-changing text message reading, "Got it. Wtz it wurth 2 u?"