Gjelina is the Brangelina of Restaurants: Pretty, But Ultimately Kinda Empty

You know the night is not going to go smoothly when your frazzled blonde waitress still hasn't brought your wine out, despite the fact that it's been 20 minutes since the second time you checked in on it. Thanks to this oversight, now your bladder is full from drinking water and you're about to eat the table because the only reservation you could get at this hot shit new place was 9:30pm. Welcome to Gjelina, a new eat local, small-plate, outrageously trendy restaurant which soft opened on Abbot Kinney on July 20. The chef, Travis Lett, did time at Tengu, and the general manager, Robert Schwan, comes from the stellar Japanese locale Wabi Sabi. Unfortunately, our first visit to Gjelina only got worse from there.At least the restaurant itself was nice to look at.

The main room had black walls with flowery engravements, offset by rich, warm wood.

They used wine bottles as decoration in another back room, with empty bottles comprising a dramatic chandelier.

The outside area was a mix of luxe and laid back, with a dramatic opening to the sky, offset by the architecture's clean lines and softened by billowing trees.

A fireplace burned in the center.

The bathroom's were even nice—old timey white tiles with dark wood touches. And you turned on the faucet with a giant wheel.

The kitchen was viewable through a long rectangular window. From our vantage point we could see a number of very hot blond surfer/skater type men working diligently away. We made a mental note to sit at the table underneath the window next time.

That is, if there was a next time. The buffalo mozzarella appetizer finally arrived 45 minutes after we ordered it and, surprisingly, it didn't disappoint. But as my companion said, "You can't fuck up fresh buffalo mozzarella." However, they would have several other opportunities to screw up. First, the fries: they were overly salty and very small. It was as if we got the last bits at the bottom of the batch. Fail. The artichokes arrived and they also tasted like they had been doused in a bucket of salt. (Side note — don't drink wine and eat artichokes at the same time. It creates a very bad chemical reaction in your mouth and makes the wine taste like crap.) The plate that was to be the pièce de résistance—the pork belly— was lukewarm and not as crispy as advertised and, shocker (!), too salty. My friend and I realized that this was the last of our dishes. She looked over at me, and said, "Is this the kind of place where we spend $100 and are still so hungry we have to go to the taco truck afterwards?" Yes. sadly, it seemed it was. But because I am nothing if not fair (and nice!), I went back a second time with a different friend. Our ditzy blonde waitress was replaced by a flirty, dark-haired hunk (major improvement!), who, when we asked him about dessert, said, lustily, "Oooooooh, yes, they are allllll verrrrryyyyyy gooood." We made him talk about the desserts at least three times. We were seated closer to the Window of Hot Chefs and next to the fire pit, which had distinct advantages (it caused our waiter, during his second recital of the dessert menu to say, "Oooh my ass is on fire!" which was amusing), and disadvantages (one side of our face was burning up.) This time, the food and service was better; the asparagus came with egg and parmesan cheese, a surprisingly good combination.

And, I should note, this time it wasn't too salty. The albacore tuna carpaccio-concoction was just right, and the margarita pizza was light and crisp; it was almost like eating a fancy, well-made cracker.

And the dessert? Soooo gooood. Some sort of butterscotch pecan goodness with a lime-like infusion in the whip cream. I left substantially fuller than the first time. Of course, this could be because I ate an entire plate of fettucine alfredo before leaving my house. So, verdict: Though it's improving in quality and service, Gjelina is still a place where you will spend $100 and leave hungry. But at least it's pretty!