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We are humbled—truly, humbled—by the singular talents of you, our astute readership. Shortly after petitioning you to find the perfect man or woman to assume the psychologically complex role of Reginald Peterson—the sandwich-dressing-deprived Subway patron who boldly tried to take on the system and lost—and combing through your many suggestions (surprisingly, Abigail Breslin's name never came up), one casting idea came through the Defamer tipbox that towered above all others. The clear winner is after the jump.

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"F. Gary Gray - director of The Italian (Sub) Job." Ladies and gentlemen: thank you for playing. We have our winner. Now if we can only coax Mr. Gray out from behind the cameras to step into the starring role in Crazy Sauce: The Reginald Petersen Story that he was born to play, our work here will be done.