Michael Bay To Incorporate Shia LaBeouf's Injuries Into Newly Retitled 'Transformers 2: Rise Of The Finger-Splinticons'
First came news from the Sheriff's Department that Shia LeBeouf was not the one responsible for his spectacular accident in Hollywood early Sunday morning. But surely he was not to be forgiven—pitied, maybe, as he underwent emergency hand surgery to restore his Echo Parque gang-sign-delivery capabilities—but not forgiven, for the police stated the actor "exhibiting obvious signs of intoxication." Not so, says his Transformers: Rise of the Fallen Machines director Michael Bay, who's convinced of Shia's innocence, and tells Access Hollywood he'll be writing his injuries into the plot:
“You’re gonna see — that’s gonna go away,” Bay said. “That’s fresh news… He was not drunk. He was drinking hours and hours before.”
“I spoke to him yesterday in the hospital,” Bay said. “His two fingers are pretty mashed, but we’re figuring out a way to shoot around it, kind of write it in the story.” In a strange twist, Bay said he had a conversation with the 22-year-old actor about safety, days before his crash. “We had a little heart to heart the week before when he bought a brand new motorcycle and I [said] ‘Dude! You cannot ride that motorcycle! If you crash, you put 1,500 people out of work,’” the director recounted. “He said, ‘Ok, I won’t ride it, I won’t ride it, I’ll just drive my truck.’” Despite the incident on Sunday, Bay said LaBeouf has his head on his shoulders. “The kid really has his head together and you know, he’s only 22,” Bay said. “He’s doing a great job on this movie. He’s really matured since the last one and I love working with him.”
The future of several billion-dollar franchises teetering on his bony shoulders, it's a testament to LaBeouf's unwavering professionalism that his trusted motivation-locator ("She's like the hottest chick ever, so you're thinking, like, 'I really want to do this chick!' Got it? Annnnd....ACTION!") would so ardently defend him. Still, should Bay not find a justifiable way to incorporate Shia's injuries into the sequel's plot, we have no doubt local spondylitis fundraiser and aspiring Bayian repertory player Nate of TransformNate.com would be happy to lend an unmashed hand, filling in as Shia's finger-double for Bumblebee-steering or Megan Fox-goosing close-ups.
