In case you haven't noticed, we have been having some trouble with our video player for the last few days. While the tech geeks back at the mothership continue to work on resolving the issues, we remain committed to bringing you nothing but the highest quality in Defamer To Do's. Fortunately, we were able to convince tonight's guest host, celebrity transvestite prostitute Lindsay Lohan, to take a few minutes out of her busy (and diamond-filled!) evening to upload tonight's installment onto YouTube for your viewing pleasure. And while we can't stand in support of her tasteless comments on the people she dubs "the handicaps", we think the novelty of seeing her riding the Metro should be enough to get you to watch the video over and over again. As always, tonight's listings can be found after the jump. Enjoy!

· Gene Simmons at Borders in Westwood.
· The Manhattan Murder Mystery at Mr. T's Bowl.
· SWAG Tuesdays at Crash Mansion.