Given she's 85 years old, you'll have to excuse gossip columnist Liz Smith for speaking so damn slowly. But that still doesn't mean we have any idea what she's talking about in this clip about Sarah Palin. After describing her as the "champion of the ordinary American person" and "half-Alaskan Amazon, half Venus of Willendorf"—and also pointing out that she has a "big, attractive family)—Smith explains what will happen if Palin doesn't win in November. She'll go back to Alaska and brush up on her foreign policy, Smith says, and then come back to Washington in four years and get elected president! Looks like someone forgot to take their Aricept pill this morning!