Socialgay PR flack Kristian Laliberte (rhymes with oh-kay) is surprisingly bad at managing his own public relations. His identity has already been stolen over the Internet and he thinks Page Six magazine's Joshua Stein is writing an article about him! (He isn't, though.) How to spin the situation in his favor? Write a long, rambling email, with allegations ranging from dubious to untrue. Among the most important rumors he'd like to debunk? "Suggestions of me air kissing those who hate me are so off base it's laughable. I'm a germophobic and notoriously shy." Also, "I know for a fact that the people behind this sinister prank will be revealed in as little as two weeks time."

The email, excerpted for time and sanity (full thing can be read here):

I'm sure your story is based on emails sent from someone who hacked into my gmail and forwarded emails (mostly doctored) to an anonymous yahoo account (gaydavidvid@yahoo.com), and also hacked into my facebook and wrote a string of graphic, disgusting, and damaging emails to specific individuals. The self-same person had interactions via my gmail with people who assumed it was me writing. I am not perfect—I've made mistakes, but the extent and depth of the perpertrator's obsession with discrediting me has led him or her to severely alter the truth.

There is no story or article forthcoming about Kristian. Unfortunately!

I know for a fact that the people behind this sinister prank will be revealed in as little as two weeks time. They made a lot of stupid mistakes—logging in from a private computer, sending information to people that I never knew, talking about events that I was out of the country for, etc. I really don't want you to be involved with hindering a criminal and legal investigation—which I think your baseless article will be doing. I'm sure you have some fantastic pull quotes from unscrupulous editors or people that I have never been friends with—-but again, they mean nothing in the face of the fact that someone HACKED into my gmail and facebook and manipulated and twisted information.

I readily admit I've made mistakes. I was naive to trust people like you when I moved to New York. I didn't understand the toxic nature that defines the very insulated social world that I work in. At this point and time however, I know who my real friends are, I love my job and my family and I have very little time for anything other than those three major components of my life. Your suggestions of me air kissing those who hate me are so off base it's laughable. I'm a germophobic and notoriously shy. I rarely approach someone unless I'm introduced to them—although I'd probably make an exception for David Beckham :).

Oh, come on. David Beckham aside, anyone who's met Laliberte will tell you that he's quite touchy-kissy. Even if they haven't been disinfected first!

If you knew me even a little, you know that I've kept my friends I've had since day one in this city except for two people, one of whom has written an expose betraying all those he/she used to work with (and is writing a follow up about the very "socials" she/he befriended) and the other who's severe drug problems, thievery, rampant stds, and bulemia forced me to cut off the friendship.

BLIND ITEM ALERT!! Which one of Laliberte's ex-friends has bulimia, "rampant" STDs, and a "thievery" problem? And who mentions that kind of detail in an email to a frenemy?

I am not sure about writing freelance, but starting a clothing and a pr firm takes so much time that by the time I'm out I'm just there to spend time with my friends, not gossip about them. I know personal information that about people. If I had been a "rat" that information would have long been known. The fact that I still have the same friends that I had when I graduated Columbia in 2005 says alot.

That is three whole years, people.

Please just leave me alone . I don't know if your homophobic or what—but its starting to creep me out.

Hah! They usually accuse him of being gay, actually.

Your investigative campaign is hurtful in the extreme. Stop emailing my friends about me. Stop writing about me. Stop thinking about me. Just leave. me. alone.

Thanks so much for your time,

I hope this email may have somewhat illuminated your clarity of what you are attempting to write about.


Best,

Kristian

Oh, Kristian. You really gotta outsource your own personal PR instead of handling it yourself. This is not helping!