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Having now spent two consecutive summers curled up inside frigid multiplex screening rooms with champion switchblade-twirler Shia LaBeouf, it was really starting to feel as if the hot young actor was becoming part of the family. Which made it all the harder to watch a leaked video of LaBeouf partaking in a very real round of Five-Fingered Mexican Roulette—an extreme subgenre of backyard fighting banned in 50 states, five territories, and several Maritime provinces—in which he was heard to drunkenly goad his bromantic sparring partner with a dropping of the dreaded rainbow F-bomb. A pink-faced LaBeouf has now dispatched his right-hand flack to deliver this apology! exclusive! to E! Online:

“The videotape that is currently being circulated is several years old and captures Shia playing a game among friends in which he uses a derogatory word toward a friend,” LaBeouf’s rep tells me exclusively.

“He regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone.”

While we appreciate the sentiment, we suspect GLAAD won't be fully satisfied until the young male role model tapes a public service announcement underscoring the ability of ugly words to inflict a pain as severe as "what my Indiana Jones character Mutt Williams felt as he was thwacked numerous times in the genitals by a variety of barbed, bulbous jungle plants."