Steve Jobs announced something today, about his fancy Apple phones that turn you into an incorrigible asshole. He has new ones, and they're cheaper, and faster. All good news, right? Too bad you won't be able to get one, if you have a job. Because only the people willing to give up their lives and camp out before the release will get the first batch! The Apple Stores will not be as quiet as they were when Choire and Neel stopped by today. Why? Because Steve Jobs hates you (and because it's HOT).

There will be no online ordering of the new phones, and they have to be activated (which we're told takes like 10 precious minutes!) in-store. AT&T refused to tell Gizmodo how many would be available at launch, and they're not even sure what the demand will be.

The in-store activation also means the scene at the stores should be even more of a mess than last summer's hyped iPhone launch day—because at least then, consumers could pick up the phones and head home to turn them on. Not anymore!

So come July 11, you are advised to avoid Apple Stores in Manhattan. And if you want the damn phone, hop the Amtrack to Newark, Delaware or something, 'cause you're not getting one in New York.