Hey there. Mind if I overshare for sec? Okay, so this morning I thought I'd slip out for a little siesta because it's 700 degrees in New York, but as soon as I reached my siesta spot, I fell into a deep, black pit of brooding and could hardly drag myself back. No, I was not drinking. Here's the problem. After all this time and so many executions some commenters still don't fucking get it. I know, I know, I'm supposed to ignore the stupids and the mean-freaks but the fact is it's just me for two days straight, only 12 to 15 items per day and every fucked-up, wrongheaded comment feels tremendously amplified. So for the very few of you who still don't understand that we have rules here, I am going to ask you to at least observe the following.

  • Before you accuse me of getting something wrong, please make sure that I got it wrong.
  • Before you accuse me of "stealing" some item, please notice that there's a link to the source right at the end of the fucking post.
  • If you're a former Gawker editor who thinks it's a hot idea to come here on the weekend and tell me how to flip burgers, ask yourself, "Am I Elizabeth or Choire?" If the answer is no-beat it, prick.
  • Before you comment that some wrong-ass previous commenter "makes a good point" please make sure that he/she actually did.
  • In general, notice that everyone around you is having fun and saying fun things. If you can't manage to do something as decent as have fun and say fun things, no one wants you here. Thank you.

Sorry to get ranty. But what's the point of staying home working on a glorious beach day when little freaks are going to come around and spread negative all over the place? I dunno. I guess I'll post some more stuff. Maybe. I can't say I really feel like it.