What happened last night on the Sci-Fi Channel's sweaty, greasy, sinewy space ballet that is Battlestar Galactica? As I snoozed in air-conditioned bliss, my liver was good enough to jot down some notes. As usual: Spoilers? Could be!

  • "Tonight's movie will be The Glory Brigade. Rock 'em, sock 'em... kisses you never got..." Oh wait. That's MASH. What the heck channel am I on?
  • Bleachy Cyclon dying? Again? And Pretty Asian Cyclon shot her? Why?!
  • Now Saggyface Actorman is president? How many presidents you people gonna get?
  • Oh Pretty Asian Cyclon. You can't go around shooting people in the gut coz you have "visions". No one wants your little high-bread baby anyway.
  • "Get her out of my sight!" You know, Miami Vice, you're starting to get on my nerves. And you looked silly being secret ninja man on that other show.
  • Great. Old Eyepatchy and Miami Vice babbling at each other again. Blonde Tomboy Space Girl, mofos! Bring her out. Bring her out now.
  • Saggyface Actorman and Hollywood Neutral Hunkbot arguing. Kee-righst! If you have a penis, get off my TV right now!
  • This is getting to be like Buffy if they did a whole episode with just Xander and Giles and Spike. Except none of those guys suck!
  • Only high-breads can find the goo-ship, Bleachy? So you are gonna steal Pretty Asian Cyclon's baby!
  • Ew Bleachy! Stop touching Old Eyepatchy! Quit it!
  • What's with the fucking leprechaun? No one's got you stinkin' pot o' gold.
  • Blonde Tomboy Space Girl! Yaaaaaaay! But, huh? Full dress uniform? No sweaty cleavage or biceps? No greasy hair? You people are killing me!
  • And now she's gone.
  • Leprechaun speech. I am so out of here!
  • "It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes." Ha!