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Even as Indy 4 is poised to do mammoth B.O. this weekend, it seems that one member of the LaBeouf Snow Cone Family Circus is a bit down on his luck. Shia LaBeouf’s father, whom Shia has already outed as a former drug dealer who used to smoke him out at 10 years old, has allegedly been crashing in Indiana Jones Jr.’s garage all winter long and has yet to return to his warm weather teepee in Montana (yes, really). As Shia puts it, "We've got this little air mattress set up for him. It's very comfortable. But now it's not winter anymore and he's still there. But I can't go there and go, `Hey dad. Listen it's time to go back.' I can't make him leave." So isn’t it time we finally figure out who this longshot Father Of The Year candidate is already? You know, before he inhales too many fumes while sleeping next to his superstar son’s pricey cars?

It seems Mr. Jeffrey LaBeouf is what Shia once termed a "ragin' Cajun," which finally explains the last name. With a knowledge on drugs so vast that Shia actually consulted him before his role as an acid-dropper in Bobby, Shia's described his hippie dad as someone who: "did a lot of things. He was a clown. He sold snow cones. He did stand-up comedy. He even went on tour with the Doobie Brothers as their opening act. He was a Vietnam vet, an artist, an explorer of life - just an adventurer.” But all that warm and fuzzy detail doesn't make up for the fact that Jeff allegedly once pointed a gun at a very young Shia while having a heroin-induced 'Nam flashback. So before Shia's life starts looking too much like an episode of Intervention, can't anyone page Harrison Ford from his current chest waxing session to step in and kick the guy out? It's his movie son, which is way better than an actual son, at least in Hollywood.