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It's been three days since the Feds concluded that hedge fund scam artist Sam Israel did not, in fact, kill himself, but just staged his suicide the day he was expected to turn himself in and begin serving a 20-year sentence. Where he is at the moment no one knows (we've had some theories). One idea we didn't consider: That Sam managed to travel to a different dimension:

A trader who worked with him in the mid-'90s says Israel believed in time travel. "This guy Sam was crazy, and told people he was actually working on a time machine for the government," said our source. "He brought two of my friends from Wall Street into his basement and showed them some contraption. Now that's a nut case."

Assuming he hasn't managed to return to 1981 and his hard-partying youth, you can keep on the look out for a bald, slightly chubby, Jewishy looking man with a tattoo of a bird on his arm. (What sort of bird is open to debate.) He's got another tattoo on his hip, incidentally, in case you see him poolside in Mexico and he's wearing his Speedo. You might also look out for a big bottle of Oxycontin nearby. According to the U.S. Marshalls, Sam isn't just wanted. He's "addicted to pain killer medication," too.

U.S. Dismisses Israel Suicide; Calls Him a Fugitive [Bloomberg]
FLED TO THE PAST? [NY Post]