Australian media prodigy Corey Worthington planned and executed a Braveheart-style melee, and was smart enough to have friend video it, a worrying sign he's becoming media-savvy enough to ruin us all. America doesn't really make anything anymore, like computers or a decent car or working levies; we borrow all our money from the Chinese and deposit it in banks we're now selling off to various oil emirates. But we do have The Wire, reality television and a world-beating collection of media-whoring celebrities, chief among them Britney Spears, and now Worthington is about to destroy everything, because he's more clever and powerful than we ever imagined.

The willfully doltish teenaged surf bum rocketed to fame by refusing to apologize for a terrifying party he staged when his parents were away, then he refused to take off his sunglasses, and no one could believe it, and then he was tracked down on a beach and said he was planning another party. OMG!

Now Worthington appears to be on the cusp of parlaying his incidental fame into a sick, loathsome but highly lucrative long-term presence in the spotlight, just as Spears is being dragged, claws to the stage, away from it. Wake up America, because there are literally tens of millions of worthless U.S. dollars at stake!