From full-page "hire-me" ads to shill-tastic film-festival crashing, we've recently observed the trajectory of Corey Feldman and Corey Haim's relationship with us and each other taking an unusual U-shape. The nadir (we think) appears in this sneak-peek of Sunday's The Two Coreys when, in a testament to love and tone-deafness, Feldman serenaded his wife Susie with a little string-accompanied tune you can hear after the jump. Then join us in comparing and contrasting Feldman's Otis-Redding-by-way-of-chainsaw delivery with a few of the duo's other travails captured here diligently in recent months. Where will it end? Or, more to the point: Will it end?

The Moment: Corey Feldman, The Night and You
Degree of Discomfort (1-10 scale): 10
Rock Bottom: Maybe it's just the sound mixing, but as genuine as Feldman's vocal gesture may have been, anyone who can get through his climactic baying in increments longer than five seconds gets his/her own show (working title: Pop Culture Stoic) next spring on A&E.

The Moment: Who Raped the Coreys?
Degree of Discomfort: 8
Rock Bottom: "You wanna talk about the truth?" Feldman asks after Haim accuses him of failing to act when he was molested at age 14. "I was being molested at the same time by somebody else. What did you do?" Enter waitress, who tops off Haim's coffee. Clearly, it's discretion that brings them together.

The Moment: Corey Haim Peers Through The Defamer Looking Glass, Darkly
Degree of Discomfort (1-10 scale): 6
Rock Bottom: Haim's assistant Nelle walked him right into an open manhole of Defamer comments in one episode of Two Coreys, prompting a pensive, introspective moment of planning where to dump her body when the camera crew went home. But he did keep reading, caveats be damned. There's only so much squirming we can do.

This image was lost some time after publication.

The Moment: 'Did Somebody Order Stake?' Unflappable Corey Feldman Surfaces At The LAFF
Degree of Discomfort (1-10 scale): 9
Rock Bottom: Feldman memorably ripped Haim's heart out last year by announcing Warners had invited him — but not Haim — to star in the studios "shitty," straight-to-video Lost Boys sequel. Outraged, Feldman declined — only to present his cameo in the unwatchable Lost Boys 2: The Tribe a year last month at the LA Film Festival. Yes, there goes a true friend.

The Moment: Corey Haim Is Back, Ready To Make Amends, And Still Has Enough Money To Pay For An Ad In 'Variety' Begging For Work
Degree of Discomfort (1-10 scale): 17
Rock Bottom: Well, we guess it did seem to work.