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As your mind has likely already checked out for the long weekend, and is far away gnawing on a corndog and oohing and aahing the dazzling detonations dancing across your TV screen courtesy of XBox 360's Fireworks Tycoon, we thought we'd tax it as little as possible today. Perfect solution: A&E's Corey Vs. Corey, an online game in which the original bromance partners—now mortal enemies—fight each other in a sort of Mortal-Flameout Kombat.

Choose which Corey you'd like to be—we took the Corey upon whom we've already inflicted more pain than our conscience can handle—then punch and kick your way through each round, earning special moves at every level. There's the pungent "Stinker," the "Wooden Stake Attack," and the particularly cruel "Dreamt of Success Smackdown," but thankfully, the sadistic web developers stopped short of a "Molestation Guilt-Trip Roundhouse Kick." OK—enough talk. Get to Corey-bashing!