Faced with the dilemma of a lifetime last night—or, rather, six months of contractual P.D.A.s before an In Touch exclusive declares their televised romance to be over—The Bachelorette's DeAnna Pappas had to winnow down her remaining pool of recreational soulmates by one. But which one? Each of the final three was jetted off to the Bahamas for the shared-date they've surely always dreamed of. As the lapping waves beckoned in the distance—offering the promise of a slow but sweet watery escape from the constant droning of Pappas's voice—they were presented with an engraved invitation from host Chris Harrison to join the prize in a designated "Fantasy Suite." (Think of it as an ultra-softcore, petal-strewn sex-dungeon, where Pappas could sample the goods and decide with whom she most feels a ribbed connection.)

In the clip above, Pappas spends the requisite amount of time necessary to ensure professional snowboarder Jesse was fully prepared to give up snowboarding at the drop of a touque should she ask that of him. Satisfied that he would, he was then presented with his Fantasy Suite All-Access Lift Pass—a mere formality before that evening's marathon session of naked shredding was to begin. But that Jesse—he's a pip! Click play to see what it was he did that instantly drained all the color from Pappas's face, and led her to declare, "Oh no. I don't think you understand how this works, little man. I invite you to the Fantasy Suite—you accept. Re-read the contract if you must. Now I'm going to leave this table, head upstairs, and leave the door unlocked. If you do not slip into the room five minutes later—completely naked and fully prepared to rock my reality-whoring world—then prepare to lose everything you hold dear. Your parents. Your precious 'snowboarding.' Your little sports-agenting fantasy that doesn't have a hope in Hell of coming to pass. Do you understand me? Am I understood? Very well. See you upstairs."