This Craigslist-ad placer and "bestselling" author has been on the Tyra Banks Show, is willing to pay you $12 an hour (after you pay your own taxes), and just in case you didn't know what an assistant to a "well known author" does: "Did you see Sex in the City? Did you remember the role played by Jennifer Hudson where she's Carrie's assistant? Well, that's what I'm looking for." Oh, and don't reply if you are too good for "occasional light housework." (Even Louise from St. Louis organized Carrie Bradshaw's apartment!) Um, what else?

Also, you definitely have to be a girl. But a girl without a criminal background.