Our Plan For The Real World: Brooklyn
Oh good Christ. The next season of The Real World, MTV's drunken, disease-riddled dinosaur of a reality series, (the 21st!) will be set in Brooklyn. The current season, which threw a bunch of damaged wannabe stars into a "green" sound studio in Hollywood, is getting annoyingly high ratings. So, the network has decided to sally forth with yet another installment, apparently continuing the smaller-part of an already done city trend, and will dump a bunch of yokels and rubes in our trendiest and irritatingest borough. Now, we don't know for sure which little enclave of Brooklyn the producers are thinking about, but we assume it's somewhere real and gritty, like off the Bedford L! Yes, it seems fairly inevitable that our broken Zelda Fitzgeralds will be plopped into some gorgeous crash pad in hipster Disneyland Williamsburg, but we have a better idea! Why, not the notorious Bushwick McKibbin dorms??
The two buildings of (mostly illegal) lofts, full of idiot kids in stupid pants and two olds, are renowned for their loud parities, ridiculous band rehearsals, and chewy chewy bed bugs. Wouldn't it be super to watch Amilynn from Ole Miss trying to nail some plywood together to create a bedroom? Or to gawk at troubled, angry water polo player Nickariah (from Duke) try to sex some girl who only eats tempe, cigarette butts, and old cans, like a common goat? That would be the real fake Real World. Plus then us quiet (read: scared) folk in the slightly sleepier neighbs wouldn't have to deal with camera crews crowding our most horrible bars. Are you listening MTV? Sell that tricked-out thing on North 8th! Pack your bindles and head on over to McKibbin.