The American Idol Karaokedome threatened to topple in on itself last night when the six remaining competitors tackled the songs of Andrew Lloyd Webber—the musical equivalent of glucose-fortified pancake syrup, next to which the typical Idol pablum starts looking and sounding like a GWAR concert.

Presuming you possess something approaching a life—a luxury we've relinquished a long time ago—and missed the telecast, master Defamer videologist Molly McAleer has compressed the proceedings into one easy-to-digest, mind-altering capsule of MDMA-like bliss. Join Ryan "Captain Trips" Seacrest, won't you, on this journey of Webberesque discovery, meeting the Phantom of the Archuleta and the Rum Tum Castro along the way. But never fail to heed Grizzled-Paula the Incomprensible Glamour Judge's warning to "never start and stop," lest you wind up like Brooke White, humiliated before an audience of millions as you fumble for that elusive word that rhymes with "Argentina."