This image was lost some time after publication.

If having your loved one cremated and poured into a jar that sits in your house isn't enough remembrance for you, LifeGem has a better idea: take those ashes, subject them to a huge amount of force, and create a diamond to wear around. You'll always know the gem was made from, as the company puts it, a very special "carbon source"—that means your loved one! You can even get them for your pets, which are also diamond-worthy carbon sources. Once your order is delivered, we imagine, you sing a creepy little song about "the diamond within you," and cackle maniacally. Strange business. As TNR points out, this would be an apt fate for Charlton "Soylent Green" Heston. Below, some of the company's gently persuasive sales pitch, which is somehow hair-raising. There's no right way to sell this product.

Why choose a Precious Pet LifeGem diamond?

This image was lost some time after publication.

Because I'll always remember... how you preferred a milk jug to an expensive toy. how you ate everything I couldn't stand. how you protected me with your life, but secretly hid when I was gone. how you helped "break in" all of the new furniture. how you were always there for a hug when I needed it most. how you gave me a reason to come home. how I loved you with all my heart, but you always loved me more.

This image was lost some time after publication.

For the love you share... If you have been searching for the most unique and priceless connection to the one you love, the LifeGem® is right for you. Each LifeGem®, created from the carbon in a lock of hair, symbolizes your precious and personal bond with another. With this closeness offered only by a LifeGem®, you will have your loved one with you and in your life at all times.