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For once, Perez Hilton is the one doing the suing. The Smoking Gun has obtained a 9-page lawsuit filed by Hilton accusing Florida blogger Jonathan Lewandowski of slander. (The irony!)

Last February, Page Six posted IM chats between the pair in which Hilton allegedly solicits sex videos from Lewandowski in exchange for promoting his unknown blog. "He would tell me he would give me stories for my blog," Lewandowski told Page Six at the time. "He used me."

In a Sept. 1, 2007, Perez told Lewandowski: "you should totally make a sex tape . . . (but not with me)." Lewandowski wrote back, "I will have to make one on here for you tomorrow and e-mail it to you." Perez responded, "Hot! Do it now!" Lewandowski told Page Six he sent Hilton (real name: Mario Lavandeira) videos of himself masturbating and various other sex videos, but that he never received any help with his blog.

In response, Hilton is now suing on grounds of "loss of his reputation, shame and mortification" as well as "mental anguish." He, evidently, is unaware that you can't lose what you didn't have. (And if someone could explain why he's wearing a Hello Kitty shower cap with a fur coat, that would be great.)