Warring Couple Communicates Through Advice Columns
In late January, a widowed man asked Slate's "Dear Prudence" about his prudish gal-friend: he wanted to sleep "in the nude" with her, citing the "intimacy" of said experience. She, on the other hand, felt the exact opposite. Today, in the Chicago Tribune's "Ask Amy" column, the exact same question was posed — this time, from the woman's perspective! Is each half of this couple reaching out, through an advice column? Or is someone pulling a fast one on the Tribune? (Based on the nearly-identical wording, we think that's the case!) Click for matching his n' hers letters.
Dear Prudie, I am a widower with teenage children. Through my church, I met a divorced woman with two younger children. I would like to marry her.
My problem is that there's something I would like her to do that she refuses. My wife and I slept together in the nude every night, even after having kids. One of my fondest memories was how we would hold each other as we drifted off to sleep, and when we woke, how sensuous and intimate it was. It also provided an incentive to work out any problems so we could look forward to going to bed each night.
When I discussed this topic with my new love, she made it clear that she would never sleep naked with kids in the house. I assured her that parents can sleep in the nude and not cause any harm to children. All our kids saw were bare shoulders, and we kept robes next to the bed. The woman I now love is not my former wife nor is she a substitute, but I really want to keep this one joyful element from my old marriage in my next marriage.
I don't want to give up this relationship, but would like this one request honored, yet she refuses. What should I do?
Dear Amy: I am divorced with two daughters, ages 10 and 12. I met a great guy through my church; he is a widower with three kids ranging in age from 12 to 18. Our relationship is a dream. I can say anything to him. He makes me laugh and is a great listener. His children are wonderful.
He has mentioned to me that he and his wife slept together in the nude every night. He said this is the only demand he would put on a future wife. He said he and his wife held each other as they drifted off to sleep; he feels this is the best part of intimacy.
He says that sleeping nude also gave them an incentive to work out problems before going to bed.
Now, I wouldn't mind sleeping in the nude if we were alone, but for at least the next eight years, we wouldn't be alone. I told him I wouldn't sleep naked with kids in the house.
He assured me that sleeping in the nude would not harm the children. He said that his kids were aware of this, that they only saw their parents shoulders peeking out from the covers, and that they kept robes next to the bed and were never nude elsewhere in the house.
I feel my reluctance over this is the only reason he has not yet proposed marriage.
I have to admit that as convincing as his arguments are, I simply can't comply.
If this is a deal breaker for him, is this a red flag? [Chicago Tribune]