The New York Post predictably says the IM conversation between Perez Hilton and aspiring blogger Jonathan Jaxson is "sordid". But we think there's something sort of sweet to it. Sure, we don't believe that Perez really has an 8.5" cock and that part about him jerking off to the video at the end was a bit vulgar. But on the other hand, what IM user hasn't hadn't the occasional dirty chat? And Perez shows a touching self-awareness, even calling himself "a fat fucking cow" and announcing that he "finally started working out and shit." Good luck with your goal of getting in shape by next year. We're rooting for you. [Queerty]