'Crystal Skull' Trailer Released: Pretty Much Your Father's Indiana Jones
We have a vivid memory of attending opening day of The Phantom Menace back in 1999: As the lights dimmed, one Darth Maul groupie—who appeared to achieve his ornate facial markings through the liberal application of drugstore lipstick and black shoe polish—shouted "16 years!!!" to appreciative cheers. What followed, of course, was not just unworthy of the 16 year wait since the previous Star Wars installment, but probably not even worth the two hours it took to sit through the movie itself. You could read it on the disappointed faces of each and every man, woman, and Ewok filing out of the theater that night, some of whom are to this day traumatized by the patois-spouting duck-ape called Jar Jar Binks.
With that in mind, we now proudly present the first teaser trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Before you click play, however, humor us as we adjust our Mola Ram headdress, clear our throats, and joyously declare, "19 years!!!"