Every so often one commenter serves the public body in singularly superb fashion. These comrades deserve recognition individually so they may come forward and take a bow. Today we honor commenter TedSez who, in admirably modest fashion, manages to steal the rug out from under so many of us, nearly everyday. One of his (many) specialties seems to be in the Open Captions, so I've selected five for you to enjoy, after the jump.

Oh, and we'll throw this in for good measure, it's from Thanksgiving:

'Twas a Gawker Thanksgiving,
And all through the 'Net
LOLCats were begging for pills from the vet.
The comments were added to postings with care,
In hopes of be-"friend"-ment from other wits there;
The editors nestled all warm by their screens
While visions of bonuses danced in their beans.

And Scarlett in her panties, and I with my junk
Had just settled down for a nice autumn bonk,
When out on the street there arose a to-do —
Wait, it's just someone's car alarm — Buddy! Screw you!
So I opened my laptop to see what was upon it;
But my screensaver, Jessica Alba, was on it,
Her beautiful breasts and her lovely tan face
(I'm sorry, I seem to be losing my place).
But then on my flickering screen did appear
An ad for a movie! An ad for a beer!

And hundreds of postings, amusingly starkers,
I realized, at last, I was looking at Gawker.
Like bloggers on crack, how the postings they came,
Full of tales about people I'm ashamed I can name:
Now Julia! now, Jakob! now, Burkle and Paris!
On, Kimmel! on, Pollack! um... Emmylou Harris?
From the date-writing ladies to the douches who date 'em!
Dash away, Eric Schaeffer! Buh-bye, Judith Regan!

The writing was funny, the comments were more so,
And I shook as I laughed, till a pain in my torso
Let me know it was time to retire to my meal
Full of turkey and stuffing with shaved apple peel.
With my eyes kind of bleary, and my back quite unstable,
I arose from my desk and went out to the table.
I sat down to a meal full of onion and sage,
And said, "Good holidays to all! Except John Fizgerald Page!"

Amazing. Never, ever leave Ted.