Even if Fox's The Moment Truth never lives up to its Apocalypse-beckoning advance billing , the show will have provided a valuable service to the very society it's so far failed to destroy in exposing a disturbing deception far more widespread than we ever could have imagined: the artificial enhancement of male "packages" by means of designer jean/Dockers/mankini stuffing.

In a line of interrogation that's surfaced at least twice in three episodes, one of last night's contestants—a onetime underwear model—was grilled about whether or not he's ever succumbed to the temptation to jam a foil-wrapped cucumber into his Jockeys to get him through a chilly shoot. Sadly, the former Marine, despite responding with a confident-sounding "No!" to the accusation, was branded a liar by the Truth's polygraph; in forfeiting the $25,000 he'd worked so hard to accrue, he became the first victim (a previous contender sheepishly copped to the stuffing sin) of Fox Alternative Programming Grand Inquistor Mike Darnell's crusade to rid America of those insecure about their endowment.