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Just when you thought you were tired of reading about Britney Spears, the next issue of Rolling Stone promises a DOOZY of a cover story that's sure to be one of the most explosive reads of this young year. The story reportedly includes boob job confessions (!), shopping mall sobfests (!!) and cameos from Justin Timberlake so "vulgar" that the NY Daily News refused to put them in print (!!!). While vulgarity has become a staple in virtually every Britney story these days, this disturbing excerpt in which Britney's Amex Black card gets declined at the mall pretty much redefines the word:

A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member's deathbed. 'Fuck these bitches,' screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. She's spitting, growling ... 'Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck.'"

All this in just an excerpt? Forgive us if our schadenfreude is showing, but we're waking up at 7am on Friday, hungover or not, to get our hands on this one.