Oh dear. A restraining order has been issued against Sam Lufti, the creepy hanger-on who has recently been Britney Spears' most trusted vizier. The order was largely based on testimony from Britney's mother, Lynn, who claims that Lufti had been drugging the troubled pop star, cut her phone lines, and basically kept her a prisoner in the days leading up to her Jan. 28th internment at a Los Angeles mental health ward. After the jump some choice quotes from Lynn's statement. [MSNBC]

Britney comes across as a wounded, addled, child-like empress who, in a manic state, repeatedly changed her dogs' outfits. Lufti seems to be a devious, maniacal puppet master who tells Mama Spears "If you try to get rid of me, she'll be dead and I'll piss on her grave." Also:

  1. "Britney returned and became very agitated and could not stop moving. She cleaned the house. She changed her clothes many times. She also changed her three dogs' clothes many times. Britney spoke to me in a tone and a level of understanding of a very young girl. Britney then picked up a bottle of pills and read the label and asked us, 'What does insomnia mean?' "
  2. "He told me if he weren't in the house to give Britney her medicine, she would kill herself."
  3. "Sam had told Britney she was an unfit mother, a piece of trash and a whore, that she cares more about Adnan, her current boyfriend, than she cares about her kids and that she does not deserve her kids."
  4. "Sam responded, 'If I told you to take 10 pills a day, you should do what I tell you to see your babies.' "

There is only one way this can end: With a tearful bonding scene, between a recovered Britney and her mother, that is suddenly interrupted by a raging Lufti, who bursts into the room and attacks Spears with a fire poker. But Britney, newly lucid and agile, will quickly react, using his weight against hers to toss him out the window. Mother and daughter will stand and look down at his mangled corpse on the steps below. Britney will turn to her mother and say "Come on, let's go home."

Or, she'll die. Either way.