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Pageviews show that our Ron Paul endorsement isn't working out. We're going with Plan B: iGovernment, by Steve Jobs. Go buy a "Steve Jobs for President" T-shirt and see why he gets our endorsement.

  • State of the Union address will need to be read on Engadget.
  • Taxes $200 higher for early filers.
  • Dialing any goverment phone number gets a recording, "Did you know that you can get many of your questions answered online at support.apple.gov?"
  • White House press briefings closed to everyone except Walt Mossberg.
  • American flag: Black, with one white star in the middle.
  • $6 trillion budget most expensive ever, but fits into a manila envelope.
  • Foreign policy: "Boom."