Discovery Of Ancient Oprahphagus Suggests Ancient Civilizations Bowed To The Whims Of A Middle-Aged, Ugg-Boot-Loving Pharaohess
Well, if we're going to be completely honest, we suppose that headline could be construed as slightly misleading—for the treasure before you wasn't in fact a major archaeological discovery, sealed for thousands of years behind stacks of A Million Little Pieces in a crypt 20 stories beneath an Mesopotamian talk show studio.
Rather, it's an all-new sculpture from fame-obsessed artist/social critic Daniel Edwards—the man responsible for such retina-searing masterworks as crowning Britney Spears, the Paris Hilton autopsy, and Suri Cruise's gilded poop—who dedicates the work to "the closest thing America has to a living deity." So evocative is the work of Winfrey's nearly mythical place in the history books, looking at it, you can practically hear ancient audiences screaming their headdresses off over the fabulous scarab jewelry, dog sculptures, and golden death masks they'd be taking home with them after scoring a lucky ticket to a taping of Queen Op's Favorite Things.
