Though we did try to communicate the level of pre-release excitement that consumed us during the run-up to Friday's debut of Rambo by sharing charts and pointing out near-unanimous critical support for our breathless anticipation of what we were sure would prove an instant classic, we never got around to offering our post-screening thoughts on Sylvester Stallone's opus. But rather than bore you with fifteen uninterrupted, giddy minutes of mimicking the sound of heads burst like overripe watermelons by high-caliber machine-gun fire, allow us to instead substitute the above, more considered appraisal of the movie's merits by a leading online critic. Enjoy.