Been stuck on the picket line all week without a decent WiFi connection? We've still got those Tom Cruise Scientology videos that even your grandmother is talking about. Take a gander at the one that started it all, the nine-minute Scientology indoctrination video. When you're done with that, wash it down with the official Defamer remix. If you're still thirsting for more, try out the video that definitively proves that Tom Cruise saved America after 9/11 (the one that got Page Six in a belated tizzy this morning). But if you're all Cruised out (frankly, we are), why not take a moment to learn how American Idol antihero Simon Cowell deals with his cryptkeeper crotch rot? Allegedly!