This image was lost some time after publication.

Talking to AARP The Magazine (the #2 periodical for readers over 65, after Kirk Douglas's Senior Moments), veteran Hollywood horndog Jack Nicholson conceded he may, at the ripe age of 70, have begun to slow down in his legendary panty-chasing ways:

"I can't hit on a girl in public like I used to," he says. "I never thought words like 'undignified' would come into my own reflections on myself, but I can't do it anymore."

Nicholson, whose past flames include Anjelica Huston and Lara Flynn Boyle, explains: "I feel uncomfortable. I don't think anybody cares what I do in these areas, but it feels a little bit off to me."

Of course, we all know Jack was lying to the reporter, fully aware that their geriatric readership would be crushed to learn that the septuagenarian actor is still ably nailing dozens of hot 20-year-olds per week, and plans on doing so until the very last one dismounts his cold, grinning corpse to run off and dial 911.