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News that the Golden Globes ceremony had been permanently and irrevocably canceled, replaced instead by a sickly televised press conference wheeled out in an iron lung to wheeze through this year's winners, did little to raise Hollywood's spirits last night as they solemnly death-marched up the Critics' Choice Awards red carpet. Not surprisingly, The Envelope now reports that the fall of Hollywood's booziest, A-listiest party is taking down all of its satellite clusterfêtes with it, in what could well go down in Hollywood history books as The Great Tinseltown Party Famine of Oh-Eight:

At least two of the traditional post-Golden Globes parties — put on by studios and broadcasters as a way to tout their good fortune and show off their haul of statuettes — have been canceled. HBO and Warner Bros./In Style said they would forgo the festivities.

Warners released this statement: "In light of the decision to shift the Golden Globes Awards ceremony to a press conference format this year, Warner Bros. Pictures will not host a post-Awards celebration as it has in previous years with InStyle. We respect and support the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and NBC for making a decision that will recognize the hard work and accomplishments of the creative community."

Sources said that other high-profile parties were expected to follow suit.


While we suppose there's no guarantee that our entire way of life will crumble should we be robbed of even a single fudge-spewing fountain or Effen Vodka VIP Raw Bar, we'd nevertheless rather fate not be tempted as such. And what of the devastating setbacks this news will reap upon the Green Party movement, having made such strides during last year's awards season with the introduction of biodegradable satay skewers and renewable ice sculptures? If there's anyone we can count on to stand steadfast, it's the unflappable footsoldiers of the gifting suite industry, with one particular e-mail restoring faith to our weary hearts as it informed us that, "THE SHM RED CARPET GOLDEN GLOBE SUITE & DINNER TO PROCEED AS PLANNED AND PRESENTED SHM RED CARPET GOLDEN GLOBE SUITE & DINNER PRESENTED BY MAGGIE FERRARI JEWELRY, NATALIE K DIAMONDS, NICOLE BARR B.E.L.T.S. INC & JELLY BELLY GOURMET JELLY BEANS AT THE LUXE HOTEL IN BEVERLY HILLS WILL UNVEIL ONE OF A KIND ITEMS FROM DESIGNERS ON JAN 10TH AT 7:00 PM."