It was Benjamin Franklin who said the only thing certain in this world is tits and beer but apparently, he got it all wrong. Apparently men, or at least the men who buy magazines specifically designed to make them feel more manly, are eschewing tits, sex, beer, sports, butts, bands, bongs, and boobs in favor of "groovy sunglasses, titanium mobile phones and flat-screen television." At least in Britain where traditional "lad mags" like Arena, FHM and Loaded are down between 23 and 35%.

But times are a-changing. Print media is so versatile. Arena recently relaunched. Their website features zero tits but does include an article about a teddy bear. Exactly what the "urban playboy" needs. According to Arena editor Giles Hattersley, the new man "works hard - probably pulling in a packet at an investment bank - and is very sophisticated in his tastes, be it a new gadget, car, type of wine or a new shirt. The days when most British men were poorly dressed oafs are long gone." Not exactly true! Also, if men are only interested in engaging in consumer culture moreso than in sex, who's doing all the screwing that is swelling Britain's population to 75 million by 2051?