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Purdue Pharma had a bit of a problem. They spent millions marketing their awesome new painkiller OxyContin as totally non-addictive, despite the fact that they knew it was very addictive. Then a bunch of poor Appalachian people started dying! And the DEA was beginning an investigation! As was a federal prosecutor! And also their own factory workers were stealing batches of the drug to sell on the black market! So, naturally, Purdue called Rudy Giuliani.

And within a couple months they'd settled with the DEA for a 10th of what the feds initially wanted without admitting any wrong-doing and then they continued with their business and all their executives avoided jail time and Giuliani made a fucking killing. As did Bernie Kerik, that charmingly corrupt cop who stole America's heart and also hundreds of thousands of tax dollars. Because he was the natural choice to shore up security at the pill plant.

You can learn all the rest of the filthy details in either today's New York Times or in the January Vanity Fair, because journalists across this great nation are having a hilarious field day with the scummy business dealings of Giuliani Partners. But you should read the Vanity Fair one instead because it was written by Maggie's brother!

A Tale of Two Giulianis [Vanity Fair]
Under Attack, Drug Maker Turned to Giuliani for Help [NYT]