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As America struggles to cope with the reality of the one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet, we gather the latest updates in the Jamie Lynn Spears Teen Pregnancy Shocker! Disaster! Nightmare!:
· What's a trailerpark nativity story without an Uncle Odus? According to the Baptist preacher kin of It Babydaddy Casey Aldridge, the family is "shocked and yet we aren't." Which is Baptist preacherspeak for, "Jamie Lynn is a nice girl. For a Spears." [TMZ]
· Well, here's your problem right here, see: Someone left the key lying around to Jamie Lynn's heart-shaped chastity lock. [jamielynnspears.com]
· The good news: From what everyone is saying, Aldridge is a fine young man with his feet on the ground (and his hands in the Nickelodeon splat-branded cookie jar). [People]
· A "Spears family insider" claims Jamie Lynn and Casey have already broken up, and that she doesn't even want him to be in the delivery room. [Life & Style]

· The results are in! 67% of you feel Lynne Spears should get life in prison without parole for not insisting her daughters get their tubes tied on their 12th birthdays. [Us]
· There is, of course, the statutory rape question, the severity of which depends upon how old Aldridge was at the time and in what state the knocking-up took place. [Us]
· Jamie Lynn has at least one supporter: Eastland alumni Blair Warner, whom we think actually lived through a similar life-changing event in a very special The Facts of Life guest-starring Stacey Q. [ABC News]