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Because nothing says Christmas like the sound of a self-inking stamper ka-chunking the word "FILED" onto a criminal complaint accusing one of L.A.'s most high-profile nightlife impresarios of rape, we bring you this disturbing story: Last August, Skye-Anne Smith was an underage patron of local professional catfighting arena Les Deux. She claims Dolce Group co-owner Lonnie Moore, partner of Big Brother All-Stars winner Mike "Boogie" Malin, plied her with drinks, then led her to what she believed was the VIP area, but was actually a dimly lit "manager's lounge" equipped with a bed:

A 19-year-old girl has filed a lawsuit against Les Deux nightclub, claiming she was plied with alcohol and then anally and vaginally raped by the owner.

The suit alleges one of the owners suggest to Moore that Smith shouldn't be in the club because of her age. The alleged response from Moore: "I don't care. She's hot."

An incendiary volley of he said/she said will likely follow, and while Moore's reputation might never fully recover, he can at least count upon being fully backed by his fiercely loyal Dolce partners, who'd sooner fall on their own mojito swizzle sticks than renege on their lifelong pledge of "bros before drunken, underage hos who knowingly lied about their age and insisted at the time that their tender lovemaking was consensual."