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Microsoft tried to capitalize on the Christmas holiday with a gimmicky IM identity powered by artificial intelligence. Predictably, it backfired. Eventually the robots will rise up to enslave their human overlords, but not this Christmas. Kids could chat with Santa under the identity northpole@live.com. The canned responses were not only limited, but far more troubling — The Register and others also found the robot could be coaxed into discussing fellatio. The software maker quickly ensured that the Redmond version of Father Christmas did not engage in pedophile patter, but soon after, they also wisely decided to abandon the idea altogether.

People, come on. If your children want to talk to Santa, please take them to the mall, where security guards are watching Kris Kringle's every move. Or have them write a letter. This year, the Post Office is making volunteers sign a waiver before they can answer mail sent to Santa. Both sound like better options than leaving your kids' Christmas wishes to Bill Gates.